What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?

DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME

How many angels can a pinhead dance on?

To hold up their pants.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What does an Australian chemist call is bro?

Bromate Sorry, just studying my poly atomic ions and thought I was clever. I thought wrong

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the Polack and the Native American name their first kid?

Running Stupid

What did the pirate say when his kids were about to watch their favorite cartoon?

ARE YE READY KIDS!

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why is Simba an orphan?

Because his dad couldn't Mufasa 'nuff

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."