What's your answer?

Whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a Mexican Standoff between two people?

Juan vs. Juan

Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him "Elvis the pelvis"?

Because he had a brother named Enos.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What's a man's idea of a perfect date?

A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

Because they really wanted a third's eye view!

Microphone Jokes More Microphone Jokes

What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.

What did the oyster say to the fish who stole it's shell?

Stop being shellfish!" *drops microphone, walks away*