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What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.

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Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

What kind of gardening is done in the hood?

Weeding

What's brown and runs around your garden?

Your fence.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America?

Antiquing.

How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected?

All your stuff has been donated to charity

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What's black and hanging from a tree in my backyard right now?

A black berry.

What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break?

TREE O'clock!

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles?

Hey, pho queue, dude

What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut?

A Barbecue. Christmas crackers are just full of laughs.

Business Jokes More Business Jokes

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot?

Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

What did the alcoholic Dad, away on business, say to the bartender at the hotel bar?

I'm ready to partiem with my perdiem *sorry, not a dad, and the bar tender didn't laugh either

Microphone Jokes More Microphone Jokes

How do small people call each other?

On microphones.

What did the oyster say to the fish who stole it's shell?

Stop being shellfish!" *drops microphone, walks away*