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What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

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Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch?

The screen stays black when you check the time.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really?

Said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Which room will you be working out in?

Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

Why did the young Greek boy run away from home?

He was not being reared right!

What is it called when a Sailor in the Navy gets a care package from home?

Underwear Replenishment

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

What is cookie monsters favorite war?

Vietnom nom nom nom

What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are: