What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What should you do if you find a snake in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe.

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Why did the couch give the table a dollar?

Because it was for chair-ity

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What would you do if I died?

Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry Husband: Ah, not that crazy..

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?

Your spinning me a yarn here!

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

Why can't a Blonde make Kool-Aid?

She can't fit the two cups of water into the tiny packet.

How do you fit 100 babies into a cup?

A blender. How do you get them out Tortilla chips.

Marry Couple Jokes More Marry Couple Jokes

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.