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What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

What was the man running around?

From my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What do you call two couches that are in love with each other?

Homosectionals.

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

How'd ya get that?

Asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in the subway?

You take the letter "S" out of "sub", and the letter "F" out of "way".

How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag?

You take the "F" out of way.

Marry Couple Jokes More Marry Couple Jokes

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.