What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How did you sleep?

With closed eyes.

What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?

A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste (better to say it aloud)

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

Whats the difference between a house cat and a polecat?

How much their husbands make

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)

What do you call a tree that you can fit in your hand?

A PALM TREE!!!

Marry Couple Jokes More Marry Couple Jokes

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.