What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why do sailors drink so much?

We sleep better when the room is moving

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What is the difference between a black man and a couch?

A couch can support a family

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Whats the difference between a house cat and a polecat?

How much their husbands make

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How many Mexican clowns can you fit in a car?

No, seriously. Cuz I bet it's a lot

What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby?

A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper.

Marry Couple Jokes More Marry Couple Jokes

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.