When someone ask me... How are you?

I answer back... You mean in bed

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How can you tell if there's a mosquito in your bed?

By the "M" on his pajamas.

What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do?

Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy?

Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke.

Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How can I trust you again?

H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!

What do you mean I've had enough to drink?

Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost.