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When you tell Optimus Prime a joke, what do you hear?

Vehicular man's laughter

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How many true friends do you believe you have?

Me: Define "true friend." Shrink: Someone you feel you can tell anything. Me: 11,419.

How would you tell if the Queen was stoned?

Her Highness will tell you

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When is a --- not a ---?

Joke I'll start you off: When is a door not a door &gt

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

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Why do Mexicans make refried beans?

Ever heard of a Mexican doing something right the first time

What are you planting???

B: The seed of doubt. A: Dude, that's the worst joke I've ever heard! A: Or is it the best???

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How does Optimus Prime stay young looking?

Autobotulism

What do you call a Transformer that engages in illegal activities?

Optimus.

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What's the square root of Optimus Prime?

I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye.

What does Optimus Prime say on 4-20?

Autobots, roll up!