Why did Maria Shriver marry Arnold Schwarzenegger?

To breed a Kennedy that could take a bullet.

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson?

Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet.

Who's there! Bullet! Bullet who?

Bullet all the hay and now he's hungry!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why couldn't the melons run away and get married?

They cantelope.

What's black and married to my daughter?

Nothing because I'm a good parent.

Breed Jokes More Breed Jokes

How many pandas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Technically, just two, but it is really hard to get them to breed in captivity.

What do you call a family of redheads?

Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: "Ginger-bred" instead.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes More Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes

Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10?

Because: he still loves vista,baby!

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

Kennedy Jokes More Kennedy Jokes

Why did President Kennedy never get drunk?

He wasn't very good at taking shots.

Why did Kennedy throw his head back?

He was taking a shot.