Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes

Why couldn't Arnold Schwarzenegger run for president?

Because he doesn't do cardio.

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What does Arnold Schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy?

A Cameron Diaz

Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger cross the road?

To

How would Arnold Schwarzenegger describe a sousaphone?

It's not a tuba!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say before he went down the mine?

I'll be black.

What kind of photograph does Arnold Schwarzenegger take?

Polaroids.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the abortion clinic?

Hasta last vista, baby.

This joke may have profanity.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to Beethoven on the way to the fancy dress party?

I'll be Bach

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net?

It's not a too-nah!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7?

I still love vista, baby

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the gym manager when he was joining a new gym?

I'll re-rack.

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What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

What did a disappointed Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he fished up a Salmon?

IT'S NOT A TUNA!!!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday?

You have to love Easter, baby." (OC)

What was Arnold Schwarzenegger's answer when asked which historical person he would like to play in a movie?

I'll be Bach.

Why did Maria Shriver marry Arnold Schwarzenegger?

To breed a Kennedy that could take a bullet.

Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10?

Because: he still loves vista,baby!

What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger?

One was fired, the other was terminated

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?

I'll be Bach

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired?

He became an ex-terminator!

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite kind of jacket?

A Pullover!