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Why didn't the child in the secret society get a present for Christmas?

He had been illumi-naughty

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Present Jokes More Present Jokes

How could you know that?

Darth: I have felt your presents

What did Darth Vader say to Luke on his birthday?

I know what you're going to get, I felt your presents

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

What does an orphan get for Christmas?

Really lonely.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

Gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Naughty Jokes More Naughty Jokes

What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids?

Naughty pine

Where do naughty rays of light go?

Prism (Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)

Secret Society Jokes More Secret Society Jokes

What is the name of the secret society of weavers?

I-loom-'n'-I-tie

What secret society do strippers work for?

The Illuminaughty.