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Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Haloumi!

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

What did Drake Bell say to Batman?

Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

Proctologist Jokes More Proctologist Jokes

What did the proctologist say to the pirate?

Show me your booty.

What did the proctologist ask the restaurant goer?

Can I push your stool in?

Old Friend Jokes More Old Friend Jokes

What is a blind persons favourite song?

Hello darkness my old friend

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend?

They were both driving their cars at the time!