Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?

He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)

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Where do you find an old Onion article?

In thier archives.

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?

On squid row!

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What looks better... than roses your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

Why was Piglet in the bathroom?

He was looking for Pooh.

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How did the detective solve his cold-case?

He put it in a conviction-oven.

What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp?

Well, that was an unexpected twist!

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Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months?

The box said 2-4 years!

Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?

He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)