Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life?

He had no leg to stand on.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's got six legs and can fly long distances?

Three swallows!

Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor?

Because he had no arms or legs. Why Because he is a potato.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What should you do when life gives you melons?

Get tested for dyslexia.

What did Hillary say when she lost?

Putin end to my life.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

Why did the late man stand on the clock?

He wanted to be on time.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

How many times should you check whether a sentence is written in English or Spanish?

Once.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."