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13th Jokes

What do they call the 13th floor in England?

The 12th floor.

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What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's Day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

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Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How many senior medical consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds up the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

What are you typing?

Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!" -Google.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the tyrannical fruit?

He was impeached!

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

What celestial body do you give your sweetie on Valentine's Day?

An exoplanet.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's Day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What do you call 55 men watching the superbowl?

Pittsburg Steelers

What's a sailor's favorite thing to watch at sunset?

Knot movies

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Where do Crows hang out on a Friday nght?

At a crow bar.

Which day do chickens hate the most?

Friday.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to administer the anaesthetic one to extract the light bulb and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.