David Bowie Jokes

What are Gene Wilder and David Bowie getting for Christmas this year?

Betty White.

March Madness Sale

Love

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Who's there? Alan Rickman and David Bowie. Alan Rickman and David Bowie who?

Alan Rickman and David Bowie have both died recently.

What is the Hamburglar's favorite David Bowie song?

Rebel Rebel!

What does David Bowie do after he gets out of the swimming pool?

He ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. (Sorry if repost)

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars

What did David Bowie want for Christmas?

Carrie Fisher.

What did Alan Rickman say as he stood over David Bowie's grave?

Mind if I Slytherin

What is David Bowie's favourite energy drink?

Redbull Redbull

What does David Bowie get at the supermarket?

Can-cer

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

Which year is the most popular?

1969

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

Swimming Pool Jokes More Swimming Pool Jokes

Why am I ambivalent about a swimming pool?

It just deepends.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice?

Because his mind was always on a pellet.

What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman?

She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call a Snorlax that wants to win a race?

A cab.

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

Why can't you talk to spiders who get shut in pianos?

They'll B flat

What kind of doctors are like spiders?

Spin doctors!

Morphine Jokes More Morphine Jokes

What was David Bowie's last hit?

Probably Morphine

What do you get if you put morphine on your toast?

Crumfortably Numb!

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How could the pimp always easily locate his ho?

Because, she really stands out on the street.

What makes you say that, Tim?

Well, you're standing naked in my closet...