New Girlfriend Jokes

How do I turn my new girlfriend on?

She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Why are you so upset?

It's just hair. I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend.

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Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Why did Willow Smith whip her hair?

Because it has been very knotty. Apologies in advance

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What do you call a Chinese man with a pet cat?

A vegetarian.

What do you call an Chinese family with a pet dog?

Vegetarians. Source: I'm Chinese.

Instruction Jokes More Instruction Jokes

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

Robot Jokes More Robot Jokes

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What do you call a robot doing the Gangnam Style dance?

A Psy-borg.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison?

They both turn "o" into "O".

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How do you find anything in here?

My mugger, giving my purse back

What's the funniest thing you can find in a closet?

Robin Williams