Patrick Jokes

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Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What do snakes take for their sniffles?

Antihissssstamines!

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?

Snakes and Larders!sna

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why don't we see more midget actors?

I guess you can say that they are in short supply these days.

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals?

The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Which teachers make pupils feel good about themselves?

Maths teachers, they make everybody count.

What's the difference between everybody and bullets?

Everybody misses Harambe.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

What do you get when you mix gangsta rap and relational aesthetics?

Albums released through California penal records.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding?

Nothing, he already said it twice.

Cinco De Mayo Jokes More Cinco De Mayo Jokes

What's honey mustards least favorite holiday?

Cinco de Mayo

How did So-Cal celebrate the double anniversary of the LA Riots and Cinco de Mayo?

Rodney King Pinatas

Saint Patrick Day Jokes More Saint Patrick Day Jokes

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's Day.)

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

Patrick Stewart Jokes More Patrick Stewart Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.