How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow!

This joke may have profanity.

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Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

Why was the man sent to prison after staying up all night?

Because he was resisting a rest.

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What did the mama pig say when junior pig bought a basket of wormy apples?

Don't tell the farmer. He might charge us extra.

What did the mole say when someone told him there were entire above-ground civilizations?

Holy moley, I didn't know that!

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How do you the difference between a blond man and a blond woman?

The blond woman will have a higher sperm count.

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What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM. Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys!

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What kind of bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.