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How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)

What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter?

Cottontales

One Jokes More One Jokes

What are the best kinds of speedbumps?

Orphan shaped ones.

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

What goes "Ooooooooooo!"?

A cow with no lips.

Playground Jokes More Playground Jokes

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

What do you call someone who designs playgrounds?

A Park-itect

Stretch Mark Jokes More Stretch Mark Jokes

How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd?

They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips.

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.