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How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

Who should get the cat?

I don't know...let's see who he loves the most" 3 weeks later Can you tell "Nope"

One Jokes More One Jokes

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

What does a condom have in common with a coffin?

Ones for coming and ones for going.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

What did the koala bear say to the barber?

You ca-lip this

Playground Jokes More Playground Jokes

What do German kids play on the playground?

Guten tag!

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Stretch Mark Jokes More Stretch Mark Jokes

How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd?

They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips.

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.