Playground Jokes

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

What did one kid at the playground say to the other kid?

Hello from the other slIIIIiiiIIIIide

What do you get if you cross a shark with a snowman?

An empty playground

Why did the terrorist blow up the playground?

He was a suislide bomber!

Why are Wayne and Garth banned from playgrounds?

They hog the Schwing set.

What has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler in a playground.

What do you call someone who designs playgrounds?

A Park-itect

What do German kids play on the playground?

Guten tag!

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

What animal has 5 legs?

A pit bull coming back from the playground.

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Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

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Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

What do you call an animal with a long neck and a love for oranges?

A Jiraffa.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him?

Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

Why do Newfies want Quebec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

Why did the surfer join ISIS?

Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

Why did the Hydroxyl molecule blow up the US Mint?

It was a Free Radical.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs?

Because, he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken.

German Kid Jokes More German Kid Jokes

What do German kids play on the playground?

Guten tag!

Slide Jokes More Slide Jokes

What, I'm Asian?

Slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*

Which one slides off first?

The one with the lowest mew.

Stretch Mark Jokes More Stretch Mark Jokes

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd?

They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why do girls talk so much?

They have four lips

What goes "Ooooooooooo!"?

A cow with no lips.