Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What does a 9 volt battery, and a pretty girls bumhole have in common?

People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it.

What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application?

There's no accounting for taste.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most?

French press

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did the beaver say when his house burned down?

Damn

When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?

Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What drink does a cannibal have after a long day?

A handshake!

Why does NASA drink sprite?

Because they couldn't get 7up