How did the mobster burn his lips on a tailpipe?

He tried to blow up a police car.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.

How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you do on a remote island?

Try and find the TV island it belongs to.

How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

What is the fastest speed a woman can go?

68, because when she turns 69 she blows a rod.

What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

Police Car Jokes More Police Car Jokes

What did the police car say to the muscle car?

Torque

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why do deaf women wear tight jeans?

So you can read their lips.

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in December?

The specific ocean.

Mobster Jokes More Mobster Jokes

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body?

Rigatoni!