How do you get people to quit smoking?

Cut off their lips

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

What does an Eskimo girl say before she is about to lose her virginity?

Careful Dad, don't squish my smokes.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

An Apple turnover.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you get a polar bear in the water?

First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!

Why did you cut me down, lumberjack?

Lumberjack: Oh, you really don't know why? Tree: Sorry, I'm stumped.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in December?

The specific ocean.

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

Because her lips stick