How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

This joke may have profanity.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

Why was the hippo afraid to go skiing?

He didn't want to get hippothermia.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken attend the seance?

To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken get a strike?

Because it was a fowl.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why did the cellist have to sell his instrument?

He was baroque.

What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

Turned down 4 watt

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog?

So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it.

Where do you buy Pikmin from?

The Oli-Mart

Hey Jokes More Hey Jokes

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"