How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

This joke may have profanity.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why don't you want a turkey at your Thanksgiving dinner?

Because it'll gobble up everything.

Why do they want to change the faces on dollars but not on coins?

Because the only constant is change.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did Mozart hate chickens?

Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!

Who's there! Chicken! Chicken who?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there!s

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What do old cars and dead chickens have in common?

You'll usually get more money for them if you sell them for parts

What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?

A boat-ique....I'll get my coat.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel?

I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place.

Hey Jokes More Hey Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".