What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

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How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

How do you know you're in a modern art museum?

If you need to ask if the bench is an art piece.

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What did Olivia Newton-John say to her doctor?

Lets get physical!

Why are doctors always calm?

They have a lot of patients. Sorry.

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How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)

What's David Cameron's favourite Shakespeare play?

Hamlet.

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What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

What kind of TB do potatoes get?

Culosis.

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What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.