What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How could a leper afford a nice house?

It cost an arm and a leg

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch?

Phil

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs?

An army.

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?

Irene

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What do fish do when they have cancer?

Nemotherapy

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?

He said it was too tight.

How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents?

Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a priest?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks into a room.