What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

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What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things?

A Hesi-tater

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Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man?

She wanted a big wedding.

What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

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Why don't melons ever run away and get married?

Because they cantaloupe!

How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?

Melon D'OH

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What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street?

You better C or you'll B

What did the Chinese man give his daughter?

A clothes hanger.

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Which fruit wanted to run away and get married, but couldn't?

Cant-elope

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!