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Daughter Jokes

What would be a good name for my daughter who is a synth?

Synthia

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant?

Are ya?

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

How did the farmer find his daughter?

He Tractor.

What did the weeaboo Southerner name his daughter?

Anna May

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

What do you call a dead skunk?

A stunk. My daughter made this up when she was about 7 years old. I thought it was incredible clever.

Why did Mr. Steaks decide he would take his wife's surname?

Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.

What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room?

You washer and dryer.

What do you do if your daughter starts smoking?

Slow down and use lube.

What did Harry Potter name his daughter?

Harry Daughter.

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

How did a mom figure out her daughter had hit puberty?

She kept wetting the bed.

Why did the lime disapprove of his daughter?

Because she was a little tart.

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street?

You better C or you'll B

What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin?

No R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

What did the Chinese man give his daughter?

A clothes hanger.

What did the hamburger name his daughter?

Patty

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue

What's black and married to my daughter?

Nothing because I'm a good parent.

What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?

Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

What is The Rock going to name his Daughter?

Pebbles!

What did the cheeseburger name her daughter?

Patty.

What does a rock do all day?

Nothing. (this joke was made by daughter when she was 5)

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

Why was Mr. Behaving sad?

His daughter was always Ms. Behaving.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

My daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

What did the radiographer call her daughter?

Imogen

Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

What did Mr &amp Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon?

But you cantaloupe!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13 1979

What's the difference between work and your daughter?

I'm not coming into work this morning!

What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

Thanks for sediments

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

Who's there! Anderson! Anderson who?

Anderson and daughter came too!

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you mean the school must be haunted?

Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn

Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?

Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?

So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"

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Tractor Jokes More Tractor Jokes

What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more?

An extractor fan

What does a duck call a tractor?

A Quakter

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the best part about bangin' twenty six year olds?

You get to meet Jared Fogel.

What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause?

He knows where all the naughty girls live #*()*

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning..

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals?

The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you do on a remote island?

Try and find the TV island it belongs to.

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?

He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?

Polyarmory

What is a relationship?

It's the one that always sinks....

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did Victoria lose her job?

We don't know, it's Victoria's secret.

What are your expectations?

Me: Job. Interviewer: I mean what do you want from this job Me: Salary

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cello and a violin?

A cello burns longer.

What's the difference between a tsunami and a bear?

A tsunami doesn't care that you are faster than your buddy.

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

Which candy is never on time?

Choco-late.

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

It was Valenswine's Day.