Daughter Jokes

What would be a good name for my daughter who is a synth?

Synthia

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant?

Are ya?

Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

How did the farmer find his daughter?

He Tractor.

What did the weeaboo Southerner name his daughter?

Anna May

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

What do you call a dead skunk?

A stunk. My daughter made this up when she was about 7 years old. I thought it was incredible clever.

Why did Mr. Steaks decide he would take his wife's surname?

Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.

What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room?

You washer and dryer.

What do you do if your daughter starts smoking?

Slow down and use lube.

What did Harry Potter name his daughter?

Harry Daughter.

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How did a mom figure out her daughter had hit puberty?

She kept wetting the bed.

Why did the lime disapprove of his daughter?

Because she was a little tart.

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street?

You better C or you'll B

What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin?

No R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

What did the Chinese man give his daughter?

A clothes hanger.

What did the hamburger name his daughter?

Patty

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue

What's black and married to my daughter?

Nothing because I'm a good parent.

What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?

Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!

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What is The Rock going to name his Daughter?

Pebbles!

What did the cheeseburger name her daughter?

Patty.

What does a rock do all day?

Nothing. (this joke was made by daughter when she was 5)

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

Why was Mr. Behaving sad?

His daughter was always Ms. Behaving.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

My daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

What did the radiographer call her daughter?

Imogen

Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

What did Mr &amp Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon?

But you cantaloupe!

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Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13 1979

What's the difference between work and your daughter?

I'm not coming into work this morning!

What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

Thanks for sediments

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

Who's there! Anderson! Anderson who?

Anderson and daughter came too!

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you mean the school must be haunted?

Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn

Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?

Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?

So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What does Bill Cosby and a ninja have in common?

You don't see either one coming.

How does a woman know she's sleeping with a forklift driver?

He beeps twice before coming through the flaps.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do I look today?

Bruno Mars: "When I see your faceeee" Girl: "Ok ok I get it."

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Melon Jokes More Melon Jokes

Why did the melon have commitment issues?

Because he cantaloupe

Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon?

Because they cantaloupe...

B Jokes More B Jokes

What's the coolest answer to a multi-choice question?

What do you call bears without ears?

Anna Jokes More Anna Jokes

Who's there! Anna! Anna who?

Annather brick in the wall!

Why didn't Anna and Elsa's parents teach them the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What does an asylum have in common with a squirrel's house?

They're both used to store nuts.

What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?

Arrrh, it's driving me nuts

Nicolas Cage Jokes More Nicolas Cage Jokes

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!

Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud?

He doesn't know how to turn things down

Southerner Jokes More Southerner Jokes

How do Southerners get through customs so quickly?

They do declare!

How many Southerners does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change Whatever do you mean, *change*