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What do dads never forget to include in their "dad" jokes?

PUNctuation Okay, I'll leave.

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Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

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What's that difference between a pun and a dad joke?

Dad jokes are punnier.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Because his neck is way up here! (Dad Joke)

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Why did Jesus die?

He forgot his safe word.

What's the most awkward aspect of bar-tending at an internet cafe?

You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.

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What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.