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Include Jokes

What's the most environmentally friendly subreddit?

Everything there is recycled, including this post.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

Why do batteries feel lonely?

Because they are never included in anything.

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

What state do most people live in?

Denial. Myself included.

What do dads never forget to include in their "dad" jokes?

PUNctuation Okay, I'll leave.

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.

Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?

They are both unlike radicals.

What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

OC High humor

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Recycle Jokes More Recycle Jokes

Why are reddittors so environmentally friendly?

Because the recycle everything!

Why has /r/jokes won an environmental award?

Everything gets recycled.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What do you call 5 black guys around 1 white guy?

A family friend paying a visit.

What's your least favorite race?

I personally can't stand 5K's

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did the trout go to med school?

Mounting pressure from his friends and family

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

What batteries do turtles use?

Durashells

How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?

It's already run out of battery.

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What do an anorexic girl and the UK have in common?

They both lose pounds really fast.

Who's there! Bette-lou! Bette-lou who?

Bette-lou a few pounds!

Rhyme Jokes More Rhyme Jokes

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop Dogg?

Dr. Dre

Why are toilet tasks called ONE and TWO?

Because TWO rhymes with POO

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What does a lawyer say to another lawyer?

We are both a lawyer.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You should take your workboots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest?

Na 'ma ste