Include Jokes

What's the most environmentally friendly subreddit?

Everything there is recycled, including this post.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

Why do batteries feel lonely?

Because they are never included in anything.

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

What state do most people live in?

Denial. Myself included.

What do dads never forget to include in their "dad" jokes?

PUNctuation Okay, I'll leave.

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.

Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?

They are both unlike radicals.

What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

OC High humor

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Ideal Weight Jokes More Ideal Weight Jokes

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

Denial Jokes More Denial Jokes

How many people in denial does it take to change a lightbulb?

There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb.

Why was Cleopatra so negative?

Because she was queen of denial.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living?

By appearing in television spooktaculars.

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

Dad Joke Jokes More Dad Joke Jokes

What do you call a dad joke in Jamaica?

Dreadful.

What do you call something that's impossible due to physics?

Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What's that difference between a pun and a dad joke?

Dad jokes are punnier.

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?

Neither did he.

Why did the guy at the trainyard get struck by lightning?

He was an excellent conductor

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

How do you describe Catwoman in one word?

Purrfect

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three... The one on the left The one on the right And of course, the Final Front Ear

Why are hurricanes named after women?

Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car