What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills

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What does a cat say when he likes something?

It's purrrfect.

Why does Bear Grylls love Bud Light?

It's sterile and he likes the taste.

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What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?

Both stream instantly.

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix?

He liked chillin.

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What's the thing in common between your girlfriend starting the pill and the muisic group Europe?

It's the final condom... Ta da da da...

Why was the blond late on her first day of work?

Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier.

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What do you call a drug addict that's allergic to heroin?

Cracktose Intolerant

What do you call a drug addict who has been awake for 14 days straight?

A "two-weeker"

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What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.