Netflix Jokes

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do whales do on dates?

Netflix and Krill

Why couldn't Mario ever watch Netflix with Peach?

Because the princess was always on another Castle.

What's the best thing to do when your tinder date never shows?

Netflix and Jill

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix

What is a whales favorite pasttime?

Netflix and krill.

What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?

Both stream instantly.

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix?

He liked chillin.

How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

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What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

What do Worf and Jadzia like to do to relax?

Netflix and Trill!

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Chillin Jokes More Chillin Jokes

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix?

He liked chillin.

What were people doing during the last ice age?

Chillin.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How are the homeless like votes?

Republicans have them thrown out.

Why did the boy fall off his bike?

Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Whats the best thing about dating a Cleveland Cavaliers fan?

They never expect a ring

How do you ruin a date with Princess Leia?

By saying Alderaan things.

Mario Jokes More Mario Jokes

Why did Mario lose a life?

He stubbed his MiyamoToe....I'll see my way out.

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

Chill Jokes More Chill Jokes

What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch, gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation?

Your dentist.

Crown Jokes More Crown Jokes

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

What do you call a crowned man in gridlock?

Human trafficking

Peach Jokes More Peach Jokes

Why do you have a pear on your head?

He replies, "It's not a peach, it's a plum!"

What do you get when you cross a peach with a bunny?

Something punny.