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What does an asylum have in common with a squirrel's house?

They're both used to store nuts.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer?

Because they were using a Berner Phone.

What do somolian pirates use as weapons?

Arrrrpg's

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

Where does Noah store his bees?

The ark-hives.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

Argh it's driving me nuts!

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck

Asylum Jokes More Asylum Jokes

Why shouldn't you get asylum in Russia?

Cuz you'd be snowed-in

Why was Santa in the asylum?

He lost his SANTAty