What happened to your three week diet?

Player: I finished it in three days!

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

What happens if you don't pay after an exorcism?

You'll get repossessed!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Where do ghoulies go to on the day before Halloween party?

To the boo-ty parlour.

Why is Thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station?

It is a day to be tankful.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?

Wait until he's finished.

What do the Globetrotters do when they're finished urinating?

The Harlem Shake

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the difference between the jokes from today and next week's jokes?

The posters.

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

Player Jokes More Player Jokes

Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team?

The players all drowned in spring training.

Why is the monsters' football pitch wet?

Because the players keep dribbling on it.