What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight?

The sock under my bed.

This joke may have profanity.
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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks?

Cuz she couldn't find the door handle

Why don't girls count to two?

Because they "can't even."

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's the difference between a cigarette and my exwife?

Cigarettes don't scream when they're burning.

What's black?

Whats black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

Sight Jokes More Sight Jokes

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK