How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Previous Random Joke Next
Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?

They both got famous for getting a black man off.

Who was Michael Jackson?

Son: Dad, is God man or a woman? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God black or white? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God good or bad? Dad: His both, son. Son: Dad, is God - Michael Jackson?

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone got their dog from a shelter?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?

Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top she's old enough. If it isn't cut the barrel down a bit.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What is the appropriate response when your cat tells you a joke?

You've gotta be kitten me. You can SPEAK?!?

What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

I feel so enlightninged!

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?

Pumpkin

Why is Halloween a crackheads' favourite holiday?

Only two more sleeps til' Christmas!

O Jokes More O Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist?

A carb-o-rater

Neighborhood Jokes More Neighborhood Jokes

How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful?

Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

What do you call the neighborhood where all the poor Italians live?

The spaghetto.

Sight Jokes More Sight Jokes

Why do men like love at first sight?

Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth.

What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?

Bigfoot has been sighted.