How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

Count the stripes on his track pants.

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Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What's a Russian's favorite food?

Vladimir Poutine

What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents?

US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you get a New Yorker upset about ISIS terror attacks?

Tell them ISIS are Red Sox fans.

Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend?

He told her he *can't elope*.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head?

Down for the count!

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

Stripe Jokes More Stripe Jokes

Why does Waldo only wear stripes?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

Count the stripes on his track pants.

Rank Jokes More Rank Jokes

What does the caller ID say?

Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.

What would be different if men got pregnant?

Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

Russian Soldier Jokes More Russian Soldier Jokes

What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

Count the stripes on his track pants.