What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

00 Jokes More 00 Jokes

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why did they ruin this pizza with so much cheese?

SNOE

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

Why did Romeo and Juliet break up?

They were in a relationship!

What's the difference between tequila, and all of my relationships?

Tequila never goes bad

Alex Jokes More Alex Jokes

What's Alex's (from 'A Clockwork Orange') preferred type of light?

Ultraviolent

Who's there! Alex! Alex who?

Alex Plain later!