What is the only thing standing between me and being rich?

I haven't hit Reddit gold yet.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common?

They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.

Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So you'll never know which side he's on.

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

Whats the difference between Facebook and Reddit?

About two hours.

What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor?

Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What did the umpire say when Randy Johnson hit a bird with his pitch?

Fowl ball.

What happened to the tree when the lumber jack hit on it?

It got all sappy

Reddit Gold Jokes More Reddit Gold Jokes

What did the mods say when they found me giving Reddit gold to my alt account?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

What's the difference between reddit gold and the Greek drachma?

People usually thank you for giving them reddit gold.