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What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why do teenage girls seem to always hang out in odd numbered groups?

Two for me and one for you.

Why is the Mississippi so wide?

Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

How many questions did the politician answer?

9/11

What is something that you never forget on a field trip?

9/11.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why does a priest never get married?

Because they got nun to love them

Where did I get my scarf?

It's a CVS receipt. You love it Oh thank you very much.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

Why do women and children evacuate first in an emergency?

So the men can go on Reddit and repost this joke.

What do chefs do when they are cooking in an emergency?

They take drastic measures.