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What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

What stopped winter for coming?

Cuz Winterfell and it can't get up!

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the hail storm say to the roof?

Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

Why are 9/11 jokes never funny?

Because they always fly over everyone's head.

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do Hippies love Didgeridoo?

It is as close as they can get to making love to a tree.

What are the three words you dread the most while making love?

Honey, I'm home.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

What do chefs do when they are cooking in an emergency?

They take drastic measures.

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.