What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the puffer fish say to the sea anemone?

Stop being so closed off.

Why couldn't the dimwit read more than one sentence?

There was a full stop

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's pink, wrinkly, hairy, smells of pee, and hangs out you boxers?

Either your mum, your wife or you.

What did "O" said to "Q"?

Dude, your is hanging out

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

What can conspiracy theorists never explain?

They say that 9/11 was an inside job... but planes fly OUTSIDE. Can't explain that

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's yer Rush Limbaugh?

Get back to me immediately and tell me if you love it or just like it.

Why do neckbeard dentists love Cats the musical?

Because m'cavity.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

What do chefs do when they are cooking in an emergency?

They take drastic measures.