What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear?

An Amoeba.

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Why was the young snowflake so upset?

Because he just watched his mom get plowed.

How do people in Iowa get elections?

By watching corn!

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Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you call a clock you wear on your belt?

A waist of time

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What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have?

Rep-tiles.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

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Why did the amoeba flunk the math test?

Because it multiplied by dividing.

What does an amoeba call its friend?

Cell mate.