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What's green and says "hey I'm a frog"?

A talking frog! Stolen from "Friends" still hilarious.

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Who tries to steal fool's gold'?

A pyrite!

What was the name of the meth cook who got caught stealing baked beans?

Heinzenburg