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What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the pig say when his wife left him?

Don't go bacon my heart

Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada?

It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out

What's a good movie?

Me: "Snakes on a plane" Friend: "Whats it about " Me: "Horses... horses on a boat"

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do you manage to stay in shape?

Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

Yogi Jokes More Yogi Jokes

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

Llamaste.

Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot!