Yogi Jokes

What do you call a bear who is athletically flexible?

Yogi

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What did the yogi have for breakfast?

An lette

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

Llamaste.

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay

Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot!

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Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?

It ended in a tie.

What did the Irishman say about the RC car tied to his scrotum?

It drives me nuts.

Collar Jokes More Collar Jokes

Why is there lipstick on your collar?

She yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."

Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt?

Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What did the bear say to the judge?

I bearly touched her.

What's the suite number on that address?

8: It just says "Hashtag 301." Me: Before hashtags were born, those were called number signs.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do mermaids wear seashell bras?

Because "B" shells are to small and "D" shells are too big.

What do nerdy mermaids wear?

Algae-bras

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe Polish for breakfast?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast?

Ommm' lettes!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do people always ask me for directions?

I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.

What does idk stand for?

Literally everyone I ask doesn't know.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why Did The NSA Worker Have To Stay In Russia?

He Was Snowed In(Snowden))

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What is a chemist's favorite brand of shoes?

Vans of der Waals

What's an extroverted accountant?

One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.