Yogi Jokes

What do you call a bear who is athletically flexible?

Yogi

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What did the yogi have for breakfast?

An lette

What did the yogi say after riding his pet llama to the ashram?

Llamaste.

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?

Nah I'ma stay

Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot!

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Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you call a morbidly obese hippy?

Tie Dyeabetes

What kind of tie is best to wear in a fight?

Muay Thai

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why can't anyone stay angry long with an actress?

Because she always makes up.

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

How does Google celebrate its birthday?

With a search party.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call jeans that haven't been worn before?

Vir-jeans

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

Nah Jokes More Nah Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net?

It's not a too-nah!

How many anti-feminists does it take to screw the light bulb?

Anti feminists? Nah, they can't screw

Collar Jokes More Collar Jokes

Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt?

Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*

Why is there lipstick on your collar?

She yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

What do the Welsh like to do in their private time?

Oh, sorry guys. It would've been a baaaaaa-d joke.