What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson?

Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet.

Whats the difference between a shower thought and a joke?

I don't know you tell me.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

Why don't men want to go down on a woman first thing in the morning?

Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese?

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?

One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.

Why did the Seahawks win the 2015 NFC Championship game against the Packers?

Because even Aaron Rodgers is a 12!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why didn't the mason jar need a paternity test?

Because the resemblance was uncanny.

Why do need it at work?

It's all I do. "WHAT " I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

Contest Jokes More Contest Jokes

Who has more testicles?

Contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet?

Last year's winner of the blonde "hide and go seek" contest