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When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What about yours?

Me:I wouldn't know... I don't talk to him about you...

What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?

I don't know I wasn't invited!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?

Because they won't stop to ask directions.

What's your opinion on birds?

Well, they're pretty fly if you ask me.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more?

Philip Hoffman's belt.

What's the difference between training wheels and training bras?

I need two hands to remove training wheels.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone?

Shelfies.

Which phone??

Person 1: Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2: Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1: So what about summers then? Person 2: Same, it freezes often as well

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

Allahu Akbar!" I'm going to hell for this.

What's in Heaven and Hell?

In Heaven, the cops are British, the engineers are German, the lovers are French, the cooks are Italian and the whole thing is managed by the Swiss In Hell, the cops are German, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss, the cooks are British and the whole thing is managed by the Italians

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

What did the pilot say when his plane wasn't flying?

Aw man, that's a drag.

Headphone Jokes More Headphone Jokes

What did the deaf guy get for Christmas?

A Headphone

What do you call a dog wearing headphones?

Ear bud