Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls?

Because people are dying to get in there.

Why did the phone keep walking into the wall?

It lost its contacts.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does the GO in Pokmon GO stand for?

Go Outside

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!

Hem Jokes More Hem Jokes

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub?

A barredvark!

Why the big pause................................?

Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.