Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Santa want a divorce?

His wife made sure he only came once a year.

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

How do you throw an egg at the wall without breaking it?

With the chicken still around it

What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?

Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does FUN stand for?

Some nights, I don't know.

What does Yao Ming stand for?

When he sits down it takes too long to get back up.

Hem Jokes More Hem Jokes

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.