Hem Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

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Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

Darn!

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

I told her that drinks were on the house

Why do jihadists drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the french press...

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

Why do they say "character actress"?

Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?

Reptiles!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

What gets bigger every time I see my wife?

My wife.

Cuba Jokes More Cuba Jokes

What country has 6 faces, and 8 points?

Cuba

Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba?

He didn't want to play second fidel

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

Why did the Irish man never get caught drink driving?

Because he never left the pub.

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five