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Hem Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?

Asks his wife. "31 black"

What else?

You've walked out of wife

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

Darn!

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

What happens when you flip an 8 to it's side?

Everything, given enough time

Why could 8 see that 6 was afraid of 7?

Because 7 was mean. Get it?

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress?

Wow, you seamstressed out. (I'm so sorry)

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

What's USSR favourite Pink Floyd's Album?

The Wall. pls don't pitchfork me

Why can't mimes finish marathons?

Because they can't get past "the wall".

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why should I drink Mr. Pibb?

He didn't even finish grad school.

What can I get you to drink?

Pepsi" Is Peps- Uh one moment please In kitchen, to manager I don't know, he just said Pepsi. What do I do