Tailor Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

What did Victoria say to the tailor?

I'm a Taylor too.

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew.

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

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What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

Darn!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

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Insist Jokes More Insist Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

Why do melons insist on having big weddings?

Because they just cantaloupe.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a rhinoceros with an elephant?

Elephino...

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

Slack Jokes More Slack Jokes

Why should you never let a non-metal drive a train?

Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)

How does a blind parachutist know when to pull his rip-chord?

The leash goes slack...

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit?

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

Scarecrow Jokes More Scarecrow Jokes

What makes the scarecrow so good at his job?

He's outstanding in his field

How did the scarecrow win a noble prize?

He was *out standing* in his field.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire?

Holy smoke!

Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics?

He was caught taking Polaroids.

World Jokes More World Jokes

How manny women dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one she hokds the blub and the world revolves around her.

Who is the most successful liar in the world?

Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions.